so... they let me back in :-)

I went to confession a week ago, after a long hiatus from the Catholic Church. There was one issue that needed to be resolved before I could be in communion. I got married in the Orthodox Church.

Now, the Catholic Church does regard Orthodox sacraments as valid. I already knew that. And in a Catholic-Orthodox marriage, it's more common for the Catholic to get married in the Orthodox Church than for the Orthodox to get married in the Catholic Church... because Orthodoxy does not accept Catholic sacraments. (is that complicated enough?).

So there was no question, really, that I technically had a sacramentally valid marriage. But there was an issue involved. I had left the Catholic Church before I got married. This was not a Catholic-Orthodox wedding. It was an Orthodox-Presbyterian wedding, and I was the one who was Orthodox. The priest decided that he needed to consult with a more knowledgeable priest at the cathedral in order to sort out my situation. I just needed to be patient.

Well, on Monday I got a phone call from the priest. He had spoken to someone at the diocese, and we set up a meeting for last night. I had no idea what the upshot of the meeting was going to be. I figured that I'd be going through a period of discernment. Maybe RCIA. Maybe dig up my sacramental certificates. Maybe get the marriage blessed. I really had no idea.

As it turned out, he was counseled to find out if I'd given this some thought. I told him how I decided to return to the Catholic Church (clearly the Holy Spirit!)... and it reminded him of St. Augustine's conversion experience as he heard St. Ambrose preach. Except, of course, that I had already been confirmed Catholic.

Here's basically what happened. Catholicism had surprisingly started to look more and more like the only Christian refuge from the ravages of dualism - as it is expressed in the modern world and in the other churches. I had also recognized, as soon as I heard of it, that Mother Teresa's spiritual darkness was not atheism but the dark night of the soul. Her darkness comforted me actually. Regardless of these musings, I had not had a single truly serious thought about returning to the Catholic Church.

Then, I found myself with a tight Sunday schedule, but still wanting to go to find a church where I could worship God. I figured that the local Catholic parish would be my best bet because I knew their doctrine and knew that they would have several Mass time options. So I went on Google and typed in "catholic falls church." Up came the parish, and I found out the Mass schedule.

The music (guitar Mass) hadn't changed at all over the years. It was sounding tired and dated. But as soon as I got past that and into the readings and responses, I really knew that the Mass was speaking directly to me. The readings were about coming home. And then they sang one of my old favorites: "Hosea" (come back to me).

It was like I was being directed to do something that I had not once considered seriously in 12 years. The ease with which I put on my Catholic self during Mass astounded me. And more to the point, my Catholic self was clearly my TRUE self. By the time I walked out of Mass, I knew that I was still a Catholic Christian in my heart. The Catholic Church was where I needed to be. And I was willing to do whatever it took to sort it out and figure out a way to return... even revisit the Immaculate Conception.

When I spoke about this with my priest last night, he confirmed my belief that this was the real deal. I had not given a lot of conscious chronological time to the decision. But instead, I'd had a definitive experience of the Holy Spirit's guidance, and I KNEW. And the experience had already changed my life.

So instead of having to go through a lot of waiting, which I was actually planning to do, he offered me the opportunity to make a profession of faith right there in his office and return to the communion of the Catholic Church (I guess he did find out that the marriage was valid in the eyes of the Church). So of course, I made a profession of faith. And he welcomed me home.

As I said to my old friend George, "They let me back in!" To which George replied, "I kind of thought they would. :-)"